“I wasn’t a good mom..” she said recently.
I don’t know of any mom who actually believes in her heart of hearts that she is good mom. We know ourselves too well. We have a mental list of all the things we’ve done poorly. We have desires, goals and aspirations, but are unable to reach those lofty heights, so often we resign ourselves to this narrative, rewinding and replaying the mistakes we’ve made over the years.
We forget this fact: from the moment that each of our children were conceived we entered into what would be a life time of learning. One day at a time we wake up and put forth our best efforts. No days off. Not much of an opportunity to push pause. We learn as we go. Our babies are growing up and so are we. We are learning from each other.
“I wasn’t a good mom.” She said recently.
And my heart breaks because my 82 year old mom sits in this condemnation. It has been whispered in her ear by the enemy of our souls. And there have been times that I have whispered that in her ear because I forgot that there are 2 sides to every story — and that she was learning just like I have been learning. She entered into motherhood carrying her own burdens, insecurities, and she had her own history to wrestle with.
She was learning.
Now that my own children are no longer in my home I have been hit with this same reality. All of these years, I too have been learning. I had desires, goals and aspirations, but was unable to reach those lofty heights, and this label has been wanting to settle over my head like a cloud of condemnation. I find myself regularly rewinding and replaying the mistakes I’ve made over the years and wishing I could have a “do over”!
Mom, I want you to know that you were a good mom! You ARE a good mom. You aren’t a perfect mom, but you are a good mom. You did what you thought was best in the moment. And as you moved through each day, living life with the knowledge that God had given you, persevering through the challenges life had thrown you, you did a good job! Yes, there are moments of failure and things you might want to change, but when I look at the big picture, you were:
- A faithful mom.
- A creative mom.
- An artistic mom.
- A hard working mom.
- A Jesus loving mom.
- A mom who persevered.
- A funny mom.
You were – and are – a good mom!
Thank you for being faithful, creative, artistic, and hard working. Thank you for loving Jesus and for persevering. Thank you for being funny!
I am so grateful God chose you to be my mom!